Wednesday, June 25, 2014

On Transition, Applications and Resignation

*Warning: Very lengthy post
Let me start by saying that while dressing up this morning, I had a somewhat shallow yet impactful epiphany - my personal style is transition. Since it's something that came to me a few hours ago, I haven't had the time to over analyse its full meaning yet so let me get back on that soon. 
Right now, I'd like to talk about the real world instead, in all its vagueness and complications and how it's like to be part of it for the past 4 months. As everyone might know, I graduated last February. Then I started working last April.. then I resigned last May. And now this coming July, I'll be working again. I mean I'm pretty sure that that was a normal cycle in everyone's career but it's supposed to happen in a longer time frame right? As for me, it all happened in less than 5 months. To avoid your inaccurate judgement, let me tell you my story.

Upon graduation, I knew I wanted to be in the retail industry, my love for fashion being a major factor. So I targeted one of the biggest retail corporation in the Philippines. To be part of that company was my major goal that I kept on obsessing over it for quite awhile. But then I had to explore other opportunities too, but I kept it pretty limited to  the marketing of luxury brands particularly cosmetics, real estate and automotive industry. I knew what I wanted (and what I didn't want - FMCG and banking).  

Fast forward to March, I got a job offer from one car company. I was pretty psyched to get my first ever job offer but was hesitant since I was waiting for the result of my application with my dream retail company. Then 2 days after, the retail company offered me a position too (however it was a position in merchandising, not marketing). I remember being so elated having 2 job offers. In the end though, I took a big, surprising leap and ended up choosing the car company and forgoing my dream job because at that time, the position and other benefits seemed to be a better choice. Though more or less, it was an impulsive decision. 

Five days into that first job, I already wanted to resign. Not because I couldn't handle it, but because the terms of employment were violated - from the agreed position/job description, compensation to working hours. I remember wanting to cry out of frustration since I thought I knew what I was getting into. I wanted to resign after a week but I hate quitting. I hate the thought of giving up on a job, and my first one no less. I didn't want to be that fresh grad who was no match to what the corporate world has to offer.

But after a month, I decided to leave. I knew I might regret it one way or another but I just don't think there's room for growth and exposure there for me. For the record though, I don't blame the company. It was more of a misunderstanding, they were at fault on some areas but I also had a share of my mistakes. It was by far my biggest decision this 2014, and although it was liberating, I was greatly disappointed in myself. I'm so grateful that I have the best support system. My family kept on reminding me that it was okay and it's not my fault. My friends kept telling me that it was perfectly valid and that they would do the same if they were in my position.

Some might say I'm a deluded little fresh grad. I'm very idealistic. My thoughts on after college life was tinted with chick flick ideas. I thought that it was possible to land a dream job on my first try. I hoped for a boss liked Gray Murray who would give me a Birkin ala Jane By Design. I know what I want and I was half expecting a Devil Wears Prada meet Carrie Diaries sort of scenario. I was picky and impatient and I thought that graduating from one of the top universities was enough. Well, it isn't. A good educational background is as important as your passion and dedication.

In 2 weeks, I will be starting on my first job (I call my previous job my semi first job). I'm quite anxious and excited but I take comfort in the fact that this time, at least it feels right.  
H&M Sweater | Forever 21 Skirt | Michael Kors Bag | Aldo Flats | Tops Necklace 

Love, Paola

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