Past, Present, Future

I spent this afternoon back in DLSU for some pre employment requirements and boy, do I miss Taft life. I've read this quote on Tumblr a few years back, "Everything is magic until it becomes a routine." And so far, in every aspect of my life, it has been proven true. Being a college student a few months ago seemed like the most ordinary thing for three years. It was a routine, going to school Mondays to Thursdays, meeting my professors, the usual where-to-eat-lunch dilemma, the hassle enlistment process at the end of  every term, doing research in the library, being so happy that Friday means no classes... and the list goes on. Now that I'm out of that lifestyle, no matter how excited I am to be a working girl (in 5 days no less!!!), I realized I  kinda miss my university days too. 

I remember a particular conversation with friend once when we were in our sophomore year in high school. Between our freshmen and sophomore year, our high school implemented an improved grading system (which means higher passing rate). She tells me how much she misses our freshmen year, how it seemed so easy and how we used to be carefree. Then another conversation comes to mind, this one was overheard from two senior girls I saw during our Frosh orientation in La Salle. The other girl looks at us, a long line of Froshies, then goes, "I'd give anything to be a Frosh again." It seems like a part of us will always be stuck in the past.

I am a creature of habit. As boring as it sounds, I find comfort in routine. But I have always been future oriented. I'm always looking forward. When I was in grade school, I looked forward to entering high school, then I looked forward to having the freedom of a college student then I looked forward to being part of the corporate world. However, there's also this part of me who keeps on looking back, who keeps on imaging how easy and simple and different things used to be. It's kind of a paradox, really. Nostalgia hits me once in a while, I like remembering how things were and how much things have changed. But then I know that the best days are yet to come so I always look ahead. Being wistful yet expectant balances things out for me. One lesson I'd love to learn soon is how to completely stay in the present - to not look back and not look ahead but completely immerse myself in the moment. 

Stradivarius Top | Cache Cache Skirt | Clothes for the Goddess Denim Polo | Call It Spring flats | Panda hat from Baguio |

Love, Paola

On Transition, Applications and Resignation

*Warning: Very lengthy post

Let me start by saying that while dressing up this morning, I had a somewhat shallow yet impactful epiphany - my personal style is transition. Since it's something that came to me a few hours ago, I haven't had the time to over analyse its full meaning yet so let me get back on that soon. 

Right now, I'd like to talk about the real world instead, in all its vagueness and complications and how it's like to be part of it for the past 4 months. As everyone might know, I graduated last February. Then I started working last April.. then I resigned last May. And now this coming July, I'll be working again. I mean I'm pretty sure that that was a normal cycle in everyone's career but it's supposed to happen in a longer time frame right? As for me, it all happened in less than 5 months. To avoid your inaccurate judgement, let me tell you my story.

Upon graduation, I knew I wanted to be in the retail industry, my love for fashion being a major factor. So I targeted one of the biggest retail corporation in the Philippines. To be part of that company was my major goal that I kept on obsessing over it for quite awhile. But then I had to explore other opportunities too, but I kept it pretty limited to  the marketing of luxury brands particularly cosmetics, real estate and automotive industry. I knew what I wanted (and what I didn't want - FMCG and banking).  

Fast forward to March, I got a job offer from one car company. I was pretty psyched to get my first ever job offer but was hesitant since I was waiting for the result of my application with my dream retail company. Then 2 days after, the retail company offered me a position too (however it was a position in merchandising, not marketing). I remember being so elated having 2 job offers. In the end though, I took a big, surprising leap and ended up choosing the car company and forgoing my dream job because at that time, the position and other benefits seemed to be a better choice. Though more or less, it was an impulsive decision. 

Five days into that first job, I already wanted to resign. Not because I couldn't handle it, but because the terms of employment were violated - from the agreed position/job description, compensation to working hours. I remember wanting to cry out of frustration since I thought I knew what I was getting into. I wanted to resign after a week but I hate quitting. I hate the thought of giving up on a job, and my first one no less. I didn't want to be that fresh grad who was no match to what the corporate world has to offer.

But after a month, I decided to leave. I knew I might regret it one way or another but I just don't think there's room for growth and exposure there for me. For the record though, I don't blame the company. It was more of a misunderstanding, they were at fault on some areas but I also had a share of my mistakes. It was by far my biggest decision this 2014, and although it was liberating, I was greatly disappointed in myself. I'm so grateful that I have the best support system. My family kept on reminding me that it was okay and it's not my fault. My friends kept telling me that it was perfectly valid and that they would do the same if they were in my position.

Some might say I'm a deluded little fresh grad. I'm very idealistic. My thoughts on after college life was tinted with chick flick ideas. I thought that it was possible to land a dream job on my first try. I hoped for a boss liked Gray Murray who would give me a Birkin ala Jane By Design. I know what I want and I was half expecting a Devil Wears Prada meet Carrie Diaries sort of scenario. I was picky and impatient and I thought that graduating from one of the top universities was enough. Well, it isn't. A good educational background is as important as your passion and dedication.

In 2 weeks, I will be starting on my first job (I call my previous job my semi first job). I'm quite anxious and excited but I take comfort in the fact that this time, at least it feels right.  

H&M Sweater | Forever 21 Skirt | Michael Kors Bag | Aldo Flats | Tops Necklace 

Love, Paola