Today I found myself dreaming of Paris. It's a completely random thought seeing as how this is my first blog post in 3 months but I just felt the need to revive this blog again just for the sole purpose of being able to say that today, I am dreaming of Paris. That, and the fact that I completely miss writing.
I'm feeling poetic and sentimental. Maybe because it's a gloomy day and I'm spending it in bed with my bedtime playlist. I have many thoughts swirling in my head - from how a cup if Swiss Miss would be perfect right now to how I should really start watching Suits to the separation anxiety building inside me as I'm almost done with the Harry Potter series (don't judge). The most prominent thought however, is if I could be anywhere else in the world right now, it would be Paris.
It seemed almost ridiculous since I've never been to the city before. But I've always felt like I have connection with it one way or another. I know it doesn't make sense that I'm inlove with a city I've never visited. And I've also heard so many comments from people that it's simply overrated. I heard one of my mom's friend before say that "there's nothing in Paris but bread and wine." A friend told me once that she found it "too formal", or how French people smell funny and that there's a lot of dog poop littered in the city (I'm not really sure about this one). But no amount of negative comments can make me love it any less.
A classmate told me once that she'd like to stay in New York after graduation. When I asked her why, she simply told me she feels like she fits the lifestyle there. And I realized that that's how I feel about Paris too, even if I've just seen it in photos and movies. It's the same with people. Sometimes it takes only one glance for you to decide whether you like them or not. That sounds completely judgemental but its true. My obsession for Paris goes beyond its pretty little chateaus and the iconic Eiffel Tower, but the feeling that I'd completely fit in. I never really felt that here in Manila. As you might have guessed, I'm not very nationalistic.
Maybe that's why God still hasn't given me the chance to visit the city cause I might just never go back. Growing up, i was decided to never leave thhe country and convinced myself that my life was here but now there are times when I can picture myself just leaving for good and being halfway around the world all ny myself being an entirely different person. It's all extremes, you see. Either I stay for good or leave just like that. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl, I've never really liked in-betweens.
Well there you go. Just a random thought on a rainy afternoon. The rain always gets me feeling like I have the most important words to say and they just spill out without control.
I still don't know what to do with this blog, by the way. I don't feel like continuing my old fashion posts (I've resorted to instagram for that). So maybe I'll just keep this way, an online diary to record my jumbled thoughts on rainy days.
Keep safe everyone!
Love, Paola xx